Mental Health Awareness Week: Kindness
- Jake K. Newell
- May 20, 2020
- 8 min read
This week, 18th - 24th May 2020, is Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK. Each year, the week has a theme. This year's theme is 'kindness'. For a full breakdown of the week-long campaign, please visit the Mental Health Foundation's website, here. There are some fantastic resources on that page which I hope will be of use to you and will supplement this post.
Before I dive into the substantive matter of this post, I wanted to briefly explain why kindness is so important for mental health. Acts of kindness are usually tied up with wanting to make a positive change or development in another person's life. The concept of kindness is often tied up with altruism; we do kind things because it is the right and selfless thing to do. There are also, of course, times where kindness can be abused. I appreciate that this can cause us all to withdraw (myself included), however, we need to remember that these eventualities are a small minority and once recognised, we know not to make the same mistake twice.
It is clear from the research: kindness and our mental health are connected. I would argue that the importance of kindness is actually compounded during the current climate and the COVID-19 pandemic which has seen many countries go into lockdown.
The report demonstrates that kindness can help address issues of isolation, and creates a sense of belonging. This makes sense in my mind; we're more likely to open up to people and bond with them if they show us kindness, love and respect. I do truly believe that a single, small act of kindness can make the difference to someone's day. We never truly understand what another person may be going through, and those small acts could genuinely be the difference between life and death for some. These acts of kindness strengthen our relationships, it develops a sense of 'community' and belonging, as well as deepening solidarity.
Kindness to others is important. However, this post will also explore self-kindness, or the practice of being kind to one's own self. The art of self-kindness can prevent us from destroying our own sense of identity and it can in fact help boost our self-esteem.
Finally, an interesting point from the Mental Health Foundation; they argue that Mental Health Awareness Week can be used to "explore the sort of society we would like to emerge from the coronavirus pandemic." I agree with this point. We have seen a significant increase in acts of kindness, selflessness and mutual support; we have seen communities look out for their vulnerable members. It is heartwarming. We must not make the same mistakes as we have done in the past. We must learn and make a better society for all in future.
Kindness & Other People
The main questions that'll be addressed under this heading are these: "Why are acts of kindness so important?" and What can I do to show kindness to others?".
The first point may seem like an obvious one to make: acts of kindness do have a positive impact on another's life. A study by the Mental Health Foundation (here) found that 63% of UK adults agree that when other people are kind it has a positive impact on their mental health, and the same proportion agree that being kind to others has a positive impact on their mental health. All of this information is freely available via the Mental Health Foundation (here and here).
It helps other people feel good; acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of wellbeing. Helping others can also improve our support networks and encourage us to be more active as we are more connected to the world around us. There is some evidence to suggest that when we help others, it may promote changes in the brain.
It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation . Helping others is thought to be one of the ways that people: create, maintain, and strengthen their social connections.
It keeps things in perspective. Many people fail to realise the impact a different perspective can have on their outlook on life. There is evidence to suggest being aware of our own acts of kindness, as well as the things we are grateful for, can increase feelings of happiness, optimism and satisfaction. Doing good may help you to have a more positive outlook about your own circumstances.
One act of kindness can encourage more. An act of kindness can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness and optimism. They may also encourage others to repeat the good deeds they’ve experienced themselves. Madonna is right: "love makes the world go round". The result is simple: it creates a more positive community.
The second question: what can you do to show kindness to others? Well, the answer to this is so broad that I simply would not be able to write a concise blog post on it - it'll probably end up as a series of books! We need to remember that context matters: different people will have different needs in different circumstances. We can essentially break things down into the following categories:
At home/in the community;
At work (if possible for those either still at work or working from home);
In public places (but ensuring you maintain social distancing);
Social Media.
The examples below are lifted from the Mental Health Foundation's website. I personally practice a mixture of them all. For example (and applying just the 'at home' element of this to keep this concise) I: have a dedicated slot each weekend to FaceTime my closest friends so that we can chat about random things, help with my nan's shopping, have taken on a share of things at home such as cooking (although if I do get into the kitchen, it's pretty hard to get me out after!) and checking in on people who have made it apparent they are struggling with mental health or broader issues. I do tend to find that these actions, whilst being really small, can have a large impact on those on the receiving end of them.
At home/ in the community
Call a friend who you haven’t spoken to for a while ;
Post a card or letter to someone you are out of touch with ;
Send flowers to a friend out of the blue ;
See if an elderly or vulnerable neighbour needs any help with shopping ;
Ring someone who is on their own, or video call them ;
Send someone a handwritten thank you note ;
Tell your family how much you love and appreciate them
Help with household chores ;
Check on someone you know who is going through a tough time .
At work
Remember to say hi to colleagues and ask how they are (this an be done either face to face (but maintaining appropriate distances) or virtually if you are working from home ;
Offer to support colleagues who may not be familiar with video conferencing or new software;
Set up a virtual coffee/lunch club , with your regular colleagues and with new ones (this is particularly helpful for team bonding and can lead to new friendships!);
Have a conversation with a colleague you wouldn't normally talk to ;
Get to know a new member of staff (it is often hard enough to start a new job, so that is compounded when under social distancing restrictions );
Listen to your colleague who is having a bad day and offer them support if they would like to accept it, just like you would a friend;
Say thank you to a colleague who has helped you and express your gratitude/appreciation for what they have done;
Praise a colleague for something they have done well .
In public places
Say hello to a passerby (this could be someone you see regularly but don't speak to, or it could be someone you have never seen before); wish them a good morning or afternoon (but please do this from an appropriate distance (2 metres or more) );
If you're uncomfortable with speaking, perhaps substitute that with a smile or raising your hand as a form of acknowledgement;
Allow others to pass through narrow footpaths first by standing to one side (whilst maintaining 2 metres or more);
If on the receiving end of someone letting you through, thank them and wish them a good bu safe day;
Be a considerate cyclist/driver .
On social media
Take time to reach out online to people you haven’t seen for a while (often, people will go quiet if something is wrong - I have done this in the past and have always appreciated people reaching out);
Acknowledge and validate someone’s story. For example, if they are having a difficult time and you don’t have to have all the answers, sometimes acknowledging their position and asking them if there is something you can do to help may be enough for them;
Be responsible when sharing information, consider the source and tone. If it could upset others perhaps, use a trigger or content warning (I have found this useful when uploading my posts on self-harm & suicide);
Think about your comments and replies.
Kindness & You
I have written in the past on the topic of self-care numerous times, but through different lenses. Some of my posts (which are hyperlinked for your convenience) include:
Balancing your life commitments with your need for self-care;
The art of self-acceptance. Accepting yourself for who YOU are. You are a beautiful human being. You are unique. You are loved. You matter;
Preventing and addressing issues of self-harm and/or suicide;
The link between mental health and social media;
The impact of money on mental health;
The relationship between studying and mental health;
The need for therapy as a means to understanding your mental processes and how to curb destructive patterns;
Sport; and
The power of one's own diet.
These posts can serve as examples, but I want to touch on the idea of being kind to yourself as a general concept, without it being through a specific lens or perspective. I wanted to say this to start with: whatever you can manage today is good enough. The same applies for each day. For some people, the lockdown is giving them the time and chance to learn new skills or try new things. You may fall into this category. However, if you don't, please do not beat yourself up or self-criticise about what you see others doing. We are not in competition with each other: as I said earlier, context matters. If things are hard right now, try and find some small things to celebrate each day. What I do is this: I set up a weekly "to do" list, and some of the things on there are really small tasks. For example: making sure I take my medication (and berocca), going for a walk on one day, meditating for 15 minutes on another day, reading a chapter of a book, practicing self-care and therapy homework. A small achievement like getting up and washing your hair is just as important as something like going for a run, working out or finishing a piece of coursework etc. Please do not fall into the trap of judging yourself and comparing yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. In turn, you should not be afraid to treat or reward yourself. Little things can make a big difference. The nerdy part of me wanted to show off some of my argumentative prowess to demonstrate that I'm not saying something for the sake of it:

It is also important that you ensure you have some “me” time; this will enable you to relax and reflect on how you’re feeling and how your day/week has been so far . I tend to do this of an evening and if there is anything troubling me, I make a note of it for therapy and I also discuss it with my partner. You can spend this "me" time in any way you wish: go for a walk, have a bath, listen to music or do something you really enjoy doing. I have also been a supporter of simply turning off social media channels for a shorter period of time. This limits the temptation to draw a comparison between what you and others are doing. Keep any distractions to a minimum and put yourself first. You deserve this.
Useful Links
As per my standard practice, I've taken the liberty of providing a series of links below which I hope will helpful:
Remember: you are a beautiful human being. You are loved. You matter. You have so much good that you can offer this world.
Until next time,
J x
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